Right then, lets start the auction for this little gem.
You are looking at a 2002 ’02’ registration Peugeot 406 with the HDI diesel engine. Frankly, this is a very unpleasant car. I really wouldn’t buy it myself, but then again for what it is going to sell for you may wish to. It even has an MOT to 10th May 2012. The interior is disgusting, but don’t worry because it has only covered 339,000 miles. So in distance terms the car has been to the moon (approx 230,000 miles) but not quite made it back. It would have been good if it hadn’t made it back, if it had actually been to the moon. I quite like the idea of an old 406 floating around outer space, bumping into things.
The engine actually sounds very nice, it runs ok and sounds like it should. The clutch does seem to perform when it wants to (a bit like Carlos Tevez) but is a bit stroppy and doesn’t always agree and goes back into hiding, leaving you at the lights trying to get it in 1st. 2nd gear is always available as a willing substitute when this happens. The airbag light is on. You could always tie a pillow to your forehead to lessen the blow should the worst happen.
The exterior isn’t too bad. There are a few smallish dents and marks, a bit of rust on the bonnet etc. An estate agent would call this character.
I have a key for it. Well most of a key anyway. In the interests of fairness to the winning bidder I am going to say we have 75% of a key for it. The buttons have fallen out but it does still start the car.
Naturally, I am selling this for spares or repairs. There are lots of opportunities for the winning bidder. For instance you could buy it and then sell raffle tickets off to small children and/or nutters to smash it up with a sledgehammer as a stress busting exercise. Or you could buy it out of the kindness of your heart and give it to the local fire brigade to set fire to and put out again. I suspect you wont do that and you will probably just use bits off it, or maybe even use it. However, if you do intend to use it, I would suggest you get a tetanus jab and possibly a radiation suit before cleaning the interior. Dirty is not the word. I would rather go and clean spent nuclear fuel rods at Sellafield with Cillit Bang in a t-shirt and board shorts before cleaning the interior of this car. I have attached a photograph of the glovebox. I took the photo at a great distance with a telephoto lens and I still think I have caught something – Ebola, mad cow disease, bubonic plague maybe - i’m not too sure. The drivers seat is flappy and a bit rubbish and a completely different colour to the rest of the interior. There are a few holes/rips in it as if savaged by an extremely small Rottweiler.
Included in the sale is the V5 registration document, MOT certificate, 1x packet of Mini Cheddars (deceased) and 2x packets of McCoys (unidentified flavour), as well as aforementioned glovebox contents (unidentifiable).
The car is in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk. Bury St Edmunds is a very nice place and a visit is worth the winning bid price alone. I can point you in the direction of some very quaint little tourist attractions, and if you ever need sugar beet this is clearly the right place for you. Please take this beautiful machine away within 5 days of auction end, or I will never forgive you.
OOOOOOH I nearly forgot!! Its got 4 big shiny alloy wheels and 4 tyres as well! And 2 previous owners. Nice.
And we have a bid! Already!! You sir (assuming you are a sir, sir), are a true connoisseur of fine motorcars. And yes I did just have to look up how to spell connoisseur.