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How many times have you screamed at the radio?

Of course you just know that you could do a better job hosting a radio show than the ignorant morons you listen to every day. And especially the ones you don't.

Or perhaps you always wanted to know if you could measure up.

Well, here's your chance to find out!

If you are the high bidder in this auction, The Tom Leykis Show, a notorious and outrageous Southern California call-in show, is just crazy enough to give you that chance.

Once you get yourself to Burbank, California at a mutually agreeable day and time, you'll be welcomed to The New Normal Studios and given any amount of briefing and training you might need on your big day. You'll work with the regular staff of The Leykis Show on the finer points of talk show hosting. Then, you'll climb into the air chair and show everyone just how good you really are.

You can wax philosophical with a monologue, take listener calls, interview guests that you feel deserve exposure, or just simply rant and rave.

By winning this auction, you agree to the following:
  • that you will follow our regular format and break for commercials, regularly and on time, as directed,
  • you will do the show in the English language from our Burbank studio and not from another location by phone or other means,
  • that you will not commit slander, that is, you will not say provably false things about people, corporations, or other entities on our show,
  • that if you are the cause of litigation, that you will be legally and solely responsible for whatever you say or do, and that we will happily and promptly provide mp3s of your performance to anyone who decides they have the grounds to sue you,
  • that you will be entertaining and hold a planet spellbound for three unforgettable hours.
You will arrive knowing that:
  • our show is on a delay and, if you try going truly nuts, we will shut that shit down,
  • although we use a phone screener, the audience may try trolling you, especially if they think you stink,
  • we are not responsible for any embarrassment caused by your not knowing how to do this, and you promise not to sue us because you weren't as good as you thought you'd be!
Of course, as the producers of this show, our hope is that, by doing this, we'll find the next fresh talk show talent and that we would want to actually use you as a fill-in some time after this appearance, but for that, you'd have to be really, really good, and frankly, we have our doubts.

The proceeds from this auction go directly to the bottom line of The New Normal LLC and nowhere else. This opportunity can only be used by the auction winner, and it cannot be re-sold or given to anyone else without the prior written approval of The New Normal LLC.

Alright Buster, do you think you can fill the shoes of The Professor?

The bidding starts here and now and it ends around 9:25 this Friday night, January 16th, 2015.

Good luck!