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Free entry to Kew with Independent on Sunday gardening writer Emma Townshend during the orchid festival; go behind the scenes, then enjoy a cream tea. Townshend, a historian of science by training, is also in her spare time an in-house guide for the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew. Bid for her to take you on one of Kew’s bespoke guided tours, taking in all of the garden’s magic. Depending on your interests, let her help you to identify the ten commonest British trees, or to drift off to Kew’s fairytale past, evoking lost waxwork King Arthurs, giant swan boats and lifesize models of the Alhambra. Gawp at real giant waterlilies, or immerse yourself in the nineteenth century with a poke around the Empire’s greatest botanical clearing house, learning what Kew contributed to Darwin’s theory-making. Find out how modern Kew battles against plant-poaching, works in murder cases and rehomes smuggled lizards (who may or may not make an appearance on the tour).

Or alternatively, just come and smell the beautiful flowers. Either way you’ll have an expert guide and afterwards a slap up tea at adjacent Original Maids of Honour, who’ve made great cakes since the 1880s to the secret recipe used to make them for Henry VIII. Who was not - you may know already - a man to be trifled with.

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