As you know, Alan Moore is the world reknowned author of Watchmen, V for
Vendetta, Swamp Thing and a load of other fantastical gubbins, and here for
sale is his old computer keyboard. He definitely didn’t write any of the
aforementioned works with this, and by the looks of things, it was mainly used
as an ash tray.
I’ve had a go on the keyboard, and in doing so, felt the power of Alan surging
through it. It immediately inspired me to write a fifteen chapter novel,
comparable to the Russian Masters, which took no less than four and a half
hours, without even stopping for a toilet break. Unfortunately, the keyboard
was not connected to a computer at the time, and all the work was lost.
Therefore I cannot verfiy the functionality of the keyboard, as it hasn’t been
rigourously tested. Or even connected to a computer since Alan owned it.
How did I come to have this keyboard in my
possession? It’s a long and convoluted story, but here are the highlights.
Portrait painting mother; a wall of death; a lack of funds (for
previously mentioned wall of death); Alan upgrading his keyboard (not sure
which model he has now) and a heavy dose of serendipity.
A short synopsis would be:
Whilst on a break from sitting for his portrait, Alan asked how the wall
of death was going. My response was funds are low, but spirits are high. Alan then
mentioned he was upgrading his keyboard, so I tentatively enquired as to what
he was doing with his old keyboard, and asked whether he would be prepared to
sign and donate it to the cause, hoping it would reach upwards of seven pounds
fifity, as after all, it is akin to a modern day version of Shakespeares quill.
In mind of it being auctioned, Alan was astute enough to sign it with a
non-specific message of goodwill – “with lots of love from Alan Moore”.
Melinda (Alan's wife) was kind enough to deliver the Microsoft Basic Keyboard 1.0A, and can be seen modelling it in the last photo.
A link to the portrait can be found below.
Pros and cons of owning Alan Moore’s old Microsoft
Basic keyboard 1.0A
DNA between the keys – you may be able to clone your very own Alan!
There are no computer viruses as it has never been connected to the internet.
Unique surface patterning.
Sleek all-black casing with fetching violet coloured ps 2 connector.
As an avid practitioner of Magick (Alan, not the keyboard), it may contain
otherworldy powers (again, not tested), these have been protected by a magick
circle and various dark items (as can be seen in the photos) since taking
delivery of the keyboard, the dark items are not included in the sale, however
I may be tempted to part with the empty can of Lynx if you really want it.
Interesting conversation piece – casually leave it lying around! Take it to
parties! (although I recommend vacuum sealing it first to retain fag ash and
Doubles up as a useful doorstop if found not to be working. (not tested as door
“Z” key has had very little use.
According to videogame forums, it can’t be used to play Guitar Hero
3 above intermediate level, this apparently applies to all Basic 1.0A’s not
Missing pop -up stand on left hand reverse.
Might not work.
In the words of Pop Will Eat Itself, “Alan Moore knows the
Will post Worldwide at cost.