Shaquille O'Neal Has Something to Hide... In His Armpits!

This is truly a must-have for any Shaquille enthusiast or otherwise
 Shaqified collector of all sorts. One significant night, long 
forgotten by most, is immortalized in this autographed Shaquille
 O'Neal plaque... For one reason or another, Big Shaqathunda came
 outta the locker room a few ounces heavier than usual. It was not due 
to the intermission snack, as that is par for the course. Something 
different... something mysterious ... something else yet to be 
identified accompanied him to the court. 

Look. Closer. Closer, still. In the cavernous pit regions. 
Is it a note to an adoring fan, or loved one? A dollop of daisy, 
perhaps? Maybe it's something even more logical, such as a nugget of 
salt crystals from evaporated sweats. Certainly, it couldn't be that an 
entire half-stick of deodorant broke off and never found its way 
back to the light of day... Your guess is as good as mine. I
 have spent over a decade pondering all possible answers to
 this question, but I believe it is now my time to pass on 
the torch to a younger researcher, for the good of humanity.

In buying this plaque, you are obligating yourself with a duty.
 As far as I know, this is the only evidence of this strange occurrence.
 He is airborne, so this definitely qualifies as a UFO sighting.
Fortunately, Shaq was gracious (or dim-witted) enough to 
autograph this plaque, ensuring a modest, yet substantial, value
 to the item, which I am sure has aided the survival of this artifact. 
You CAN NOT allow this item to be damaged, lost or forgotten. 
If a man in a dark coat tries to buy this from you, say no, move to
 Nebraska, and open up a used ski rental shop in a remote
 cabin. This is the ONLY way to be sure.


Please message us if you need any more info or photos.
Thanks for looking. :)