10 By the Numbers: Breaking down Joey Mercury’s pummeled proboscis. 11 Moment of Impact: Flash Funk’s head is crushed like a can of Fresca. 12 Would You Buy This?: MysteriOs!; Did You Buy This?: The Smoking Gunns’ 25-gallon hats; Superfan SmackDown: Whose WWE collection will reign supreme? 13 Oh No You Ditn’t!: TL Hopper plumbs the depths of idiocy; Amuse Us!: Mick Foley jests. 14 My Three Favorite Matches: Chris Masters’ top picks; Amazing, but True…: Bet you can’t name the first ECW champ; From the Vault: Return to WWE circa 1985. 15 May We Speak to Jim Ross, Please?: Meet the other J.R., a salty sea captain from Rockledge, FL. 18 Sexy Superfan of the Month: She’s hot and loves WWE. No, you’re not dreaming. 22 Activity Corner: Look at the two pics and spot the errors, eagle eyes. 24 You Got the Mic: Your letters and signs, and Jerry Lawler’s artwork. GRAPPLERS 26 Jimmy Wang Yang: Meet the cowboy from the Wild, Wild East. 28 Edge’s Rap Sheet: Edge takes on the law and the law wins. 30 Jeff Hardy: The highflier explains his love of Vanilla Ice. 32 Johnny Nitro: Our jerk of the month is called on the red carpet. BIG NIGHT 34 Feast and Furious: 12 things to help you throw the ultimate WWE screening party. 38 Superstar Gaming Contest: Paul London and Chris Masters go one-on-one in NBA Jam. KNOWLEDGE 40 Divas Uncensored: Are you a first-timer? Let our Divas guide you. 42 Cash For Questions: CM Punk reads your letters, responds, remains entirely awesome. 44 Under Maria’s Hood: Cars that’ll make the ladies swoon. 46 The Ultimate Animal Quiz: How well do you know WWE’s famous mascots of yesteryear? 48 Genius Advice: Words of wisdom from a concussed Tommy Dreamer. FEATURES 50 Batista: The Exclusive WrestleMania Preview: The Animal jaws about the year’s biggest event, and the most meaningful match of his career. 54 Solid Gold: A look back at the greatest belts of all time. 56 101 Things Every Fan Should Do Before He Dies: Check off everything on this list before you ship off to that squared circle in the sky. 64 Unearthed: Vince’s Secret Treasure Trove!: After years of searching, we finally find the fabled WWE warehouse. BODY SHOP 68 Need a Spot?: Kenny Dykstra’s lower body workout ensures that you look good before you leap. 70 How to Treat A…Burn: MVP (and WWE’s resident doctor) discuss treating fried flesh. Hot jambalaya! REVIEWS 74 Games: PS3’s new racer, MotorSport, plus Bullet Witch, Sonic the Hedgehog and more! 77 Music: Reviews of Jesse Malin, Modest Mouse and Good Charlotte. We call Layla and ask, “What’s playing on your iPod?” 78 DVDs and Movies: First looks at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and 300. And don’t miss Mr. Kennedy’s three favorite DVDs of all time. 80 Gear: Editors test-drive the Toshiba Portege R400-S4931 and battle-ready Aliph Jawbone headset. INSIDER 84 Between the Ropes: The Donald schools Rosie; Raw returns to Iraq. 89 Tale of the Tape: Stat-o-rama! 90 All Access: Shaq meets Dusty; Arena Scout: We travel to Mohegan Sun and lose our shirts. 91 Fantasy Warfare: Batista and Brock Lesnar trade drubbings. 92 Calendar: Find out when WWE is coming to your town; Remembering… Bam Bam Bigelow. 93 The Night the Title Changed Hands: The Texas Tornado shocks Mr. Perfect; Beef of the Month: Ric Flair fends off young whipper-snapper Kenny Dykstra. 94 Guess the Match: Answer correctly and earn a chance to win a charcoal grill signed by Carlito. 96 You Had to Be There: The police get a slice of Regal pie.