Gone Abroad Again

Contents

Chapter I

Victoria once more — fellow passengers on the cruise — about Percy Hopper, the Stationmaster — when Bishops warm up — my only nice mal-de-mer story — a poor finesse — what Mr. Busbridge has seen — Dover during the War.

Chapter II

French magazines at Calais — Porteur, Porteur! — a matter of ethics — that hot box — Mulhouse at dawn — playing bridge past Brunnen — grand slam at Bellinzona — Chiasso next stop — Mr. Gallia of Milan — out on the autostrada — -Villa d'Este by moonlight — Venice and the Kraljica Marija — the danger of the first two days on a cruise — First Service people and Second Service people — which are you ? — on our way to Spalato — the psychology of cruising — fishing on the Dalmatian Coast — a stormy past.

Chapter III

A diatribe on publicity hunters — the palace of Diocletian — Jugoslav bezique — sex is of no consequence — a chauffeur from Chicago — Gospodski Square- — olive trees and baked earth — a monstrous black statue — Dean Inge's comment — a bit of architectural information.

Chapter IV

On the way to Montenegro — tales of the Uzkoks — a link with the Borders — meet George Petovich — his friend the Duke — -up to Cettinje from Kotor — twenty-nine hairpin bends and bunches of wild thyme — on top of the world — the New York Hotel — Montenegrin beer and a Montenegrin beggar — introducing Sam Jovich — 1 Say your paternoster quickly ' — billiards in the palace — English phlegm.

Chapter V

A murder party — but it was too hot — saluting Corfu — cashing in on the classics — a curious local custom — the petrol problem — the Island of Ulysses — eucalyptus and bamboos — the Achilleion — the Kaiser's study — Yes, I sat on it — the unlucky Wittelsbachs — a Greek abbot describes the birth of Eve — oleander for the ladies — the tale of the spinster and the lost goat — -what I missed — Oh, admirable Saint Spiridon — an echo of Queen Victoria.

Chapter VI

Personalities on the cruise — Bernard Shaw and the Greek guide — George, our historical valet — Phaleron Bay and Athens — nearly winning the State lottery — I prefer snick-pebble — what the Pnyx looks like to-day — on the ever-changing Acropolis — what does it cost Mr. Kahn ? — the importance of Pausanias — hot work in the Ceramicos — ' Mad dogs and Englishmen ' — what a wine list — Avaroff's stadium — the Temple of Aeolus — a warning to the unmarried — hockey, 800 B.C. — caricatures of Demosthenes — golf on the Royal Athens course — advantages of large caddies — over at Sunium — a Hot Spring, indeed — about Greek brandy — perhaps it is another name for hemlock-Jimmy the barman — Athens night clubs are hot stuff — the Greeks have no words for it — they use gestures — a beachcomber from Derbyshire.

Chapter VII

The Athens Post Office — off to Corinth — first glimpse of Eleusis — refugee villages — tale of a Boeotian — traces of the disaster — some useful phrases — where St. Paul made his speech — at the Spring of Glauce — an American error — good earthquake weather — a theory about Socrates — Eleusis as it is to-day — the villagers were right — ' Demeter, very much damaged ' — Daphni and Salamis — the street of Tripods — over at Marathon.

Chapter VIII

On the way to the Dardanelles — Courtney Post and Johnstone's Folly — a Welch Fusilier reminisces — Gaba Tepe — the Sea of Marmora — Bellini was wrong — all about the Turk — his views on starving cats — Kemal, the grey wolf — inside information on Turkish delight — Constantinople and Galata Bridge — memories of the White Lady — coffee at the Bank — San Sophia — Porch of the Penitents — Bulgarians and breeches — an Infamous Crusade — that black hand — the Sublime Porte — Janissaries and more Janissaries — a dud from the Queen Elizabeth — deaf-mute torturers — in the Hippodrome gardens — a Turkish restaurant — the Sultan's palace — Mahomet IV's Amami night — the last of the Sultan's eunuchs — at the treasure chamber — a solid gold throne- — Sword of Osman — Abdul Hamid's bedroom — Turkish blind man's buff — tea at the Tokatlyan — man-power — the Roman walls and what they mean to Christianity — Feast of the Circumcision — Taksim Gardens and the Street of Steps.

Chapter IX.

More about Constantinople — in the Great Cistern — over to Asia Minor — Florence Nightingale's hospital — the Mosque of Suleyman the Magnificent — the Blue Mosque — looking for Trotsky at Prinkipo — tragedy in the harbour-in sight of the Black Sea.

Chapter X.

On the way to Rhodes — the swearing ritual — no more Colossus — Cassius's idea of a square deal — and now for the Knights Hospitallers — ' To our next merry meeting with the Red Apple ' — another use for blondes — the truthful Teuton — siege after siege — Mussolini's mark — chivalrous Turks — hibiscus, geraniums, plumbago, what you will — the world's worst golf course — in the Bazaar — out to Lindos — twenty-three centuries only two feet apart.

Chapter XI

What Baedeker doesn't know — all about the Greek Islands — where Turkish delight is made — beware of Mourro — rose-leaf jam — a tale of the Mayor of Ithaca — Lesbos to-day — more about the Eleusinian Mysteries — travellers' tales — don't blame me — gossip if you like — and so we came to Crete — honey from Mount Ida is not bad — -but what a hideous town — no shade, but lots of dust — in the museum at Candia — laughing frescoes — La Parisienne — off to Cnossus — red and black plaster — the legend of the Minotaur — the world's oldest throne — fig trees and plumbing and chickens — slimy rocks — Hig Lif — what a Bazaar — long-term convicts- — a glad good-bye.

Chapter XII

Off to Delphi — the bad man of Athens — -camels on the road — Mount Parnassus and the Castalian Spring — cheaper than ginger beer — what Delphi signified — you never know on what you are sitting — what the Oracle suggested — a piece of advice — a rollicking grin — pipes of Pan — George pops up again — in the museum — the last sad monument of Greek misfortune — why camels look superior — more useful Greek words.

Chapter XIII.

How many of these questions can you answer ? — the zigzag road — tales of St. Stephen — he is still active — an unfortunate choice — coasting along Albania.

Chapter XIV

Ragusa is the prettiest little city in the world- — origin of the Argosy — the most ancient chemist's shop — a dinner that failed — but what a lunch — a thirty thousand-pound Mausoleum — Peter's Bar — and Peter — tales of St. Blaize.

Chapter XV

Hail and farewell — back in Venice — on the road to Vipiteno — the Adige Valley — Italian bowls — gentians and edelweiss — Kalten Keller — you cannot change a nation overnight — let me teach you Schnappsen.

Chapter XVI

Off to Innsbruck — over the Brenner Pass — meet Hansi — Oberammergau again — Augsburg and Ulm — Europe's latest hotel — Stuttgart is not Angfophobe — the Rhine and Strasbourg — August, who is always on holiday — Nancy and Toule and Chalons-sur-Marne — a sad ending but a lovely bath on the Auto-carrier.