| 1 | Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot | |
| 1 | Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 &2 | |
| 2 | Big Flappy Bastards | |
| 3 | Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell | |
| 4 | If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap | |
| 5 | The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump | |
| 6 | Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? | |
| 7 | If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake | |
| 8 | Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful | |
| 9 | Phase One, Complete | |
| 10 | Merry Thanksgiving | |
| 11 | Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor | |
| 12 | Camel Filters and Pheremones | |
| 13 | Sara Like Puny Alan | |
| 14 | I Can't Afford Hyenas | |
| 15 | Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick | |
| 16 | That Was Saliva, Alan | |
| 17 | Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats | |
| 18 | An Old Flame with a New Wick | |
| 19 | I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You | |
| 20 | Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark | |
| 21 | No Sniffing, No Wowing | |
| 22 | My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet | |
| 23 | Just Like Buffalo | |
| 24 | Can You Feel My Finger | |
| 25 | Back Off Mary Poppins | |
| 26 | Enjoy Those Garlic Balls | |
| 27 | A Bag Full of Jawea | |
| 28 | Go Get Mommy's Bra | |
| 29 | Bad News from the Clinic | |
| 30 | The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance | |
| 31 | A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana | |
| 32 | Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers | |
| 33 | Yes, Monsignor | |
| 34 | The Salmon Under My Sweater | |
| 35 | Last Chance to See Those Tattoos | |
| 36 | A Lung Full of Alan | |
| 37 | Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow | |
| 38 | Those Big Pink Things with Coconut | |
| 39 | Smell the Umbrella Stand | |
| 40 | Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? | |
| 41 | Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! | |
| 42 | It Was Mame, Mom | |
| 43 | A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise | |
| 44 | I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey | |
| 45 | A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On | |
| 46 | That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother | |
| 47 | Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab | |
| 48 | Does Something Smell Funny to You | |
| 49 | Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts | |
| 50 | Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover | |
| 51 | Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark | |
| 52 | Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs | |
| 53 | We Called It Mr. Pinky | |
| 54 | Hi, Mr. Horned One | |
| 55 | Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop | |
| 56 | That Voodoo That I Do Do | |
| 57 | Madame and Her Special Friend | |
| 58 | Something Salted and Twisted | |
| 59 | Santa's Village of the Damned | |
| 60 | That Special Tug | |
| 61 | Humiliation Is a Visual Medium | |
| 62 | Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded | |
| 63 | My Tongue Is Meat | |
| 64 | Ergo, the Booty Call | |
| 65 | The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer | |
| 66 | The Spit-Covered Cobbler | |
| 67 | Golly Moses, She's a Muffin | |
| 68 | Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro | |
| 69 | And the Plot Moistens | |
| 70 | Just Once with Aunt Sophie | |
| 71 | Arguments for the Quickie | |
| 72 | That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite | |
| 73 | Working for Caligula | |
| 74 | Who's Vod Kanockers | |
| 75 | The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress | |
| 76 | A Pot Smoking Monkey | |
| 77 | A Live Woman of Proven Fertility | |
| 78 | Apologies for the Frivolity | |
| 79 | Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head | |
| 80 | Release the Dogs | |
| 81 | Corey's Been Dead for an Hour | |
| 82 | Kissing Abraham Lincoln | |
| 83 | Walnuts and Demerol | |
| 84 | Castrating Sheep in Montana | |
| 85 | Don't Worry, Speed Racer | |
| 86 | That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami | |
| 87 | My Damn Stalker | |
| 88 | Young People Have Phlegm Too | |
| 89 | I Merely Slept with a Commie | |
| 90 | It Never Rains in Hooterville | |
| 91 | Smooth as a Ken Doll | |
| 92 | Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot | |
| 93 | Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous | |
| 94 | Mr. McGlue's Feedbag | |
| 95 | Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin | |
| 96 | Prostitutes and Gelato | |
| 97 | Large Birds, Spiders and Mom | |
| 98 | Media Room Slash Dungeon | |
| 99 | Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo | |
| 100 | City of Great Racks | |
| 101 | Putting Swim Fins on a Cat | |
| 102 | Help Daddy Find His Toenail | |
| 103 | The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room | |
| 104 | Is There a Mrs. Waffles? | |
| 105 | Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids | |
| 106 | Kinda Like Necrophilia | |
| 107 | Meander to Your Dander | |
| 108 | A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh | |
| 109 | The Soil is Moist | |
| 110 | Winky-Dink Time | |
| 111 | Rough Night in Hump Junction | |
| 112 | Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty | |
| 113 | Fish in a Drawer | |
| 114 | If My Hole Could Talk | |
| 115 | Waiting for the Right Snapper | |
| 116 | Taterhead Is Our Love Child | |
| 117 | Pie Hole, Herb | |
| 118 | Damn You, Eggs Benedict | |
| 119 | The Flavin' and the Mavin' | |
| 120 | A Jock Strap in Hell | |
| 121 | It's Always Nazi Week | |
| 122 | Best H.O. Money Can Buy | |
| 123 | Pinocchio's Mouth | |
| 124 | The Mooch at the Boo | |
| 125 | He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited | |
| 126 | The Devil's Lube | |
| 127 | Thank God for Scoliosis | |
| 128 | I Think You Offended Don | |
| 129 | David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie | |
| 130 | I'd Like to Start with the Cat | |
| 131 | She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime | |
| 132 | The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? | |
| 133 | My Son's Enormous Head | |
| 134 | The Two Finger Rule | |
| 135 | Hello, I am Alan Cousteau | |
| 136 | Above Exalted Cyclops | |
| 137 | Sir Lancelot's Litter Box | |
| 138 | Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth | |
| 139 | Baseball Was Better with Steroids | |
| 140 | 818-jklpuzo | |
| 141 | Whipped Unto the Third Generation | |
| 142 | Mmm, Fish. Yum. | |
| 143 | Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator | |
| 144 | For the Sake of the Child | |
| 145 | Give Me Your Thumb | |
| 146 | Untainted by Filth | |
| 147 | Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. | |
| 148 | Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair | |
| 149 | That's Why They Call It Ball Room | |
| 150 | Warning, It's Dirty | |
| 151 | Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste | |
| 152 | Yay, No Polyps | |
| 153 | Crude and Uncalled For | |
| 154 | Aye, Aye, Captain | |
| 155 | Tinkle Like a Princess | |
| 156 | I Found Your Moustache | |
| 157 | Ixnay on the Oggie Day | |
| 158 | Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave | |
| 159 | I Called Him Magoo | |
| 160 | Gumby with a Pokey | |
| 161 | This Is Not Gonna End Well | |
| 162 | Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud | |
| 163 | A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer | |
| 164 | A Pudding-Filled Cactus | |
| 165 | Hookers, Hookers, Hookers | |
| 166 | The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel | |
| 167 | Twanging Your Magic Clanger | |
| 168 | The Crazy Bitch Gazette | |
| 169 | Springtime on a Stick | |
| 170 | A Good Time in Central Africa | |
| 171 | Ow, Ow, Don't Stop | |
| 172 | Dead from the Waist Down | |
| 173 | Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead | |
| 174 | Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup | |
| 175 | Lookin' for Japanese Subs | |
| 176 | Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak | |
| 177 | That Darn Priest | |
| 178 | Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt | |
| 179 | People Who Love Peepholes | |
| 180 | Big Girls Don't Throw Food | |
| 181 | Nine Magic Fingers | |
| 182 | A Giant Cat Holding a Churro | |
| 183 | The Squat and the Hover | |
| 184 | Those Fancy Japanese Toilets | |
| 185 | Thank You for the Intercourse | |
| 186 | Frodo's Headshots | |
| 187 | A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes | |
| 188 | What a Lovely Landing Strip | |
| 189 | One False Move, Zimbabwe! | |
| 190 | Slowly and in a Circular Fashion | |
| 191 | A Possum on Chemo | |
| 192 | The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack | |
| 193 | Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy | |
| 194 | Not in My Mouth! | |
| 195 | The War Against Gingivitis | |
| 196 | Palmdale, Ech | |
| 197 | Grandma's Pie | |
| 198 | Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' | |
| 199 | Why We Gave Up Women | |
| 200 | The Straw in My Donut Hole | |
| 201 | Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! | |
| 202 | I Changed My Mind About the Milk | |
| 203 | A Big Bag of Dog | |
| 204 | Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt | |
| 205 | You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For | |
| 206 | That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam | |
| 207 | Ferrets, Attack! | |
| 208 | Avoid the Chinese Mustard | |
| 209 | Something My Gynecologist Said | |
| 210 | I Scream When I Pee | |
| 211 | One Nut Johnson | |
| 212 | Give Santa a Tail-Hole | |
| 213 | Welcome to Alancrest | |
| 214 | Grab a Feather and Get in Line | |
| 215 | Run, Steven Staven! Run! | |
| 216 | Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It | |
| 217 | Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby | |
| 218 | Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries | |
| 219 | The 9:04 from Pemberton | |
| 220 | Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon | |
| 221 | Bazinga! That's From a TV Show | |
| 222 | Another Night with Neil Diamond | |
| 223 | My Bodacious Vidalia | |
| 224 | Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped | |
| 225 | Nangnangnangnang | |
| 226 | I Think I Banged Lucille Ball | |
| 227 | This Unblessed Biscuit | |
| 228 | Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank | |
| 229 | Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 | |
| 230 | Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants | |
| 231 | Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie | |
| 232 | Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. | |
| 233 | Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer | |
| 234 | On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! | |
| 235 | Tazed in the Lady Nuts | |
| 236 | Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. | |
| 237 | Bite Me, Supreme Court | |
| 238 | Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe | |
| 239 | Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin | |
| 240 | How to Get Rid of Alan Harper | |
| 241 | Welcome Home, Jake | |
| 242 | West Side Story | |
| 243 | Lan mao shi zai wuding shang | |
| 244 | Lotta Delis in Little Armenia | |
| 245 | Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot | |
| 246 | Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead | |
| 247 | The Ol' Mexican Spinach | |
| 248 | A Chic Bar in Ibiza | |
| 249 | Glamping in a Yurt | |
| 250 | Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight | |
| 251 | Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. | |
| 252 | Alan Shot a Little Girl | |
| 253 | Sex with an Animated Ed Asner | |
| 254 | Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey | |
| 255 | Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey | |
| 256 | Here I Come, Pants! | |
| 257 | For Whom the Booty Calls | |
| 258 | A Beer-Battered Rip-Off | |
| 259 | Boompa Loved His Hookers | |
| 260 | Don't Give a Monkey a Gun | |
| 261 | Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 | |
| 262 | Of Course He's Dead: Part 2 | |