Secrets of an Old Man's Girlhood

by Shaughn Marlowe

Shaughn Marlowe realized in the early 1930s that he was a little boy living in a girl's body, but it wasn't until more than forty years later that Marlowe finally let that little boy out. In Secrets of an Old Man's Girlhood, Marlowe chronicles his journey, often with sardonic humor, to comprehend and conquer his own identity issues as he underwent the physical, psychological, and spiritual transformation from a confused child born with the wrong anatomy to a confident adult comfortable in his own skin. The story centers on Marlowe's struggles against the insurmountable obstacles of gender conflict and self-identity in a hostile society in which LGBT issues simply were not discussed. Alongside these dilemmas, Marlowe also explores topics like alcoholism, romantic entanglement, religion, and family relationships, showing that his transition from youth to adulthood, though unique in many respects, was not all that different from what others endure when coming of age. Through narrative, dialogue, and flashback, Marlowe takes readers on a tour of America that includes Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Hollywood, California, and New Orleans, Louisiana, and spans hallmarks of U.S. history, such as World War II, racial segregation, and the beatnik and hippie cultures. But he always returns readers to the psychotherapist's couch, from where he was able to find his greatest solace, in the form of a nurturing psychotherapist with whom he shared a physical attraction and who motivated him to persevere in his search for personal fulfillment. Secrets of an Old Man's Girlhood is a story of triumph over adversity, replete with moments of revelation, self-actualization, and promise that shed light on topics still somewhat hush-hush today. In sharing his own story, Marlowe strives to demystify the phenomenon of gender conflict for the general public and to inspire others with gender issues toward achieving self-authenticity. He can be contacted through his blog at