Adrian Patmore was born into a strict Christian church, the Exclusive Brethren. As a teenager in London, he realised he was never going to fit in. However, he remained in the church into his 20s, trying to comply with its strict rules. This book is about the pain and sorrow of being born gay into the hard and unforgiving environment of a rule-filled culture. Adrian tells his story simply and honestly. His account includes how he fell in love with his wife despite conflicting inner feelings. At the age of 30, after ten years of marriage and five children, he knew he had to make a break from his whole way of life in the church. The Brethren are now generally known as the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church.