EVERY TIME I HEAR,THE WORD 'EXERCISE' I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE!

HUSBAND FOR SALE...REMOTE INCLUDED!

GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS, IT'S A LOT MORE FUN WHEN YOU HAVE SOME HANGING AROUND!

CATS LEAVE PAW PRINTS ON YOUR HEART 

INSTANT HUMAN...JUST A

DD COFFEE!

A FOOTBALL FAN AND A NORMAL PERSON LIVES HERE!

NO COOKING ALLOWED... KITCHEN FOR DISPLAY ONLY!

ENJOYING THE GOOD LIFE... ONE DAY AT A TIME!

MUMS GARDEN...DADS SLUGS AND WEEDS!

MY HUSBAND SAID IT WAS HIM OR THE CAT...I MISS HIM SOMETIMES!

FREEDOM...RELAXATION...HAPPINESS!

BEWARE OF THE WIFE DOG OK!

PLEASE REMOVE YOUR SHOES, BUT DON'T TAKE BETTER ONES ON THE WAY OUT!

HITCH 'N' PITCH

THIS HOUSE IS CLEANED EVERY THREE MONTHS WHETHER IT NEEDS IT OR NOT!

HOUSE RULES

DO ONE THING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY EVERY DAY 

MY WIFE AND I WERE HAPPY FOR TWENTY TWO YEARS ...THEN WE MET!

LOVE COVERS MOST THINGS...CHOCOLATE DOSE THE REST!

NAN'S SHED

HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR FRIEND TODAY ?

MUM'S SHED

IF YOU ARE IRRITABLE OR MOODY...THERE WILL BE A £5 CHARGE FOR PUTTING UP WITH YOU 

TRY THE GARLIC DIET YOU DON'T LOSE MUCH WEIGHT, BUT FROM A DISTANCE YOUR FRIENDS THINK YOU LOOK THINNER!

COFFEE CHOCOLATE MEN THE RICHER THE BETTER!

WHEN I SAID I DO I DIDN'T MEAN LAUNDRY!

DEAR LORD, GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, THE FRACE TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT...AND A GREAT BIG BAG OF MONEY! ARMEN. 

WARNING.. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE DOGGY DROOL ZONE!

ALL I WANT IS PEACE ON EARTH AND THIN THIGHS!

DANGEROUS WHEN MOODY!

NEXT MOOD SWING... 6 MINUTES!

IS IT ME OR HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD!

I ASKED FOR A FLOWER, YOU GAVE ME A GARDEN... I ASKED FOR A STONE YOU GAVE ME A STATUE.. WHAT ARE YOU...DEAF ?

WON'T YOU COME INTO MY GARDEN... I WOULD LIKE MY ROSES TO SEE YOU!

I CLEANED MY HOUSE YESTERDAY... SORRY YOU MISSED IT!

TECHNIQUE IS EVERYTHING!

ANNOYING THE COOK WILL RESULT IN SMALLER PORTIONS!