Hello there.

☼ Are your pockets so heavy with coins that you move slower than a hippopotamus with concussion?
☼ Do you have a desperate desire to shove oodles of money into plastic pouches?
☼ Does the idea of walking into a bank with a big pile of cash fill you with unbridled joy?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions then you have arrived at the right place.

In this listing, you are being offered the opportunity to acquire some coin bags.  What you do with these objects is entirely up to you.  You could perhaps fill them with vinegar and throw them at an unsuspecting police sergeant, or you could more sensibly use them to hold coins...

These thrilling money bags have allegedly been endorsed by an aristocratic bank manager named Captain Clankypockets II.  (The first Captain Clankypockets perished in a shocking incident involving a 50p coin, a vending machine and an unexpected moose)

Once you've decided how many bags you require, placing your order is easier than walking into a massive lamp post:

► From the menu at the top, choose your desired number of bags.

► Leave the 'quantity' box on 1, unless you want multiple sets.

♫ Optional:  Make a delicious drink and spend a moment playing hide and seek with a singing ant.

If you need further assistance, feel free to contact us any time.  We will post your order on the day of your purchase, using packaging that will easily fit through your letterbox.

Try to contain your excitement.

Thank you.