Hello there.

☼ Are you the kind of person who likes to convert brainwaves into scribble?
☼ Do you have a desperate desire to shamelessly doodle?
☼ Does the idea of chalking a board fill you with inexplicable pleasure?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions then you have arrived at the right place.

In this listing, you are being offered the opportunity to acquire 22 sticks of white chalk.  What you do with these objects is entirely up to you.  You could perhaps attach them to your head and violently headbutt the nearest traffic warden, or you could more sensibly use these chalk sticks to draw with...

They are dustless, tapered and measure approx 75mm x 9mm.  They will be sent in a resealable plastic pouch, which makes them easier to carry around than a 40-year mortgage.

These cylinder shaped objects have allegedly been endorsed by an aristocratic tutor named Baroness Chalkington II. (The first Baroness Chalkington perished in a shocking incident involving a blackboard, an electricity bill and an unexpected moose)

Once you've decided how many sets of these astounding chalk sticks you require, placing your order is simpler than walking into a lamp post:

► Enter into the quantity box your desired number of sets.

♫ Optional:  Make a delicious drink and spend a moment serenading one of your big toes.

If you need further assistance, feel free to contact us any time.  We will post your order on the day of your purchase, using packaging that will easily fit through your letterbox.

Try to contain your excitement.

Thank you.