It wasn’t Wii…

Shaggy’s presentation to the bigwigs at Nintendo HQ didn’t go well. Whilst the ad agencies making the pitch had been encouraged to be bold - Wii U sales were tanking and things were getting a little desperate - the concept of Shaggy in Mario costume ‘banging’ Daisy on the sofa behind Peach & Luigi’s back was clearly far too much for President iwata, even allowing for Shaggy’s cheeky winks and amusing rolling consonant sounds.

Shaggy didn’t mind. Millions in the bank already and, remarkably, big stars were still falling over themselves to get him to guest on their songs. He could simply walk on for the last min, growl a few gravelly voiced inanities in his trademark JamaicHam, gurn enthusiastically in the video and top dollar would come him way. Shaggy loved his life: he’d done better than any boy named Orville could have ever hoped for…

…This bombastic WiI U Console bundle shares much of Shaggy’s cheeky popular appeal and joy for life. You’ll get one well turned out console and gamepad, both in decent nick, with just the usual surface scratches on the annoyingly smeary and easy scratch black finish excepted. Appropriately you’ll also get two hi-grade, fully operational* Nintendo wiimotes, the upgraded slicker Motion Plus Inside versions- - plus an Afterglow controller, the only serious rival to the WIi U Pro. This is the old school afterglow, the king of the low end rumble and bright blue lighting - the perfect accompaniment for Mr Lover Lover as he gets RO…. RO…Romantic in Osaka tonight.

You also get over 10 heavyweight games, Games are in slightly more of a mixed condition. Some near perfect and with manuals, others are free of any case inserts and show signs of being used by clumsy gamers with greasy fingers. Have tested the most obviously scratched./marked discs (admittedly less than exhaustively) and all appear to play without issues. Like Shaggy, there’s the occasional quality lapse -Epic Mickey I’m looking at you - but also plenty of joyful, life affirming big hitters including including Mario Kart 8, Super Mario Bros U, even Zombi U.

Call Wii Fantastic? Want to get bombastic? Buy this wii today. Only 7 days for this auction - Shaggy’s off to record the new Scooby Tune and a whole album of cod-reggae staples with tantric sex bore Sting this weekend***

Happy bidding…

*both tested superbly, albeit the red one has sign of greening in nunchuck port and it looks as if there was a past batter leak in the black un.

*** Sadly i’m not even making this (bit of) rubbish up