"Welcome to my eBay listing where I’m selling… drumroll… NOTHING! That's right, folks, absolutely zilch, nada, zero! This is the ultimate 'buy now, receive nothing' deal. It's like buying air, but without the hassle of a jar! That’s right, folks, in this box of wonders, you'll find sheer emptiness, the void, the absence of stuff!

Are you tired of receiving tangible items? Bored of unboxing actual things? Well, worry no more! Order now and receive the most anticlimactic parcel ever—zero weight, zero volume, and zero purpose! No assembly required, no user manual—heck, you won’t even get a thank-you note from me.

Picture this: you hit that 'Buy Now' button, and the countdown begins - 5 to 8 business days of suspense, excitement, and absolutely no updates because, well, there’s nothing to update! No tracking numbers, no delivery notifications, no thank you emails, just serene nothingness.

I won’t lie, I’m here to make a quick buck, or rather, a quick 'nothing' sale. But hey, I’m genuine about it! And if this 'nothing' bonanza hits it big, I might treat myself to a gold-plated rubber chicken. Why? Because why not?

Some might call this listing rude, but come on, it's a spoof! Life’s too short to be serious, especially when you’re selling 'nothing' on the internet. But fear not, I’m a ray of sunshine in person; it’s just my 'nothing' persona that’s delightfully mischievous.

Each 'nothing' comes at a steal of $2.22! Want more nothingness? Grab extra nothings for a discount! Buy two, get an invisible high-five. Three? You'll receive a 'thank you' note in invisible ink! Feeling like a collector of voids? Grab four or more for an imaginary trophy! It's the ultimate bargain on emptiness that'll leave your wallet in stitches!

So, grab your slice of nothingness today! And if the void isn’t your cup of tea, check out my other 1,500 listings! We’ve got pranks, gags, and novelties at prices so low, they're practically funny. Order 'nothing' now and maybe, just maybe, discover 'something' that’ll make you chuckle till you crap your pants.

I hope this brings an extra dash of laughter and absurdity to your day.

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BUT WAIT........ Now the listing has changed! I need you now to IGNORE all of what you just read. I was selling these "absolutely nothings" on eBay like hotcakes until...

So, as you can see from this policy warning violation I received from eBay, I had to abort the selling of nothing :( I had so many past customers who were totally thrilled with receiving nothing. I was proud to be a pioneer of this, but all good things must come to an end. So instead of nothing, I decided to add something tangible, well, then it complies within policy and I would be allowed to sell it. Well, so here it is! 

(front and back of bill)

Introducing the revolutionary ZERO novelty fake bill! Yes, you heard it right - a bill worth absolutely zilch, nada, zero! After eBay policy crackdowns on selling "absolutely nothings," I've revamped my offerings to comply. But fear not, the spirit of nothingness lives on in this tangible yet utterly worthless piece of paper.

Imagine the excitement of receiving an envelope in the mail, eagerly tearing it open, only to find... nothing of value! It's the ultimate anti-climax, the pinnacle of pointless purchases. But hey, at least it's something, right?

What do I get from this? Not much, to be honest. I mean, now I have to spend the time to put this bill in the mail, pay for a stamp, and send it out. Then factor in the eBay fees and time? What's left? I much prefer selling nothing, as it kept me lazy, collecting money. But hey, it is what it is, I guess."

Now, for the low, low price you can own your very own $0.00 bill. Display it proudly, frame it as a testament to the absurdity of modern commerce, or use it for a tip to the next person that gives you lousy service. The possibilities are endless, just like the value of this bill!

So why wait? Order now and join the ranks of those who proudly possess... absolutely nothing of value!