So, one day...or was it night...

I need to be careful not to lie to you, because you already hardly believe a word I say.  You just CAN'T let the other day go, can you?  Every word I say, it's like I have my own Statler & Waldorf up in the Suite, critiquing EVERYthing :-(.  Like this, you're like "wth is Statler and Waldorf?!"

"Its those two old guy Muppets who just made fun of all of the other Muppets' hard work. You know; The Muppet Show?"

"Nobody knows who that is. Must've been something old people watched. Your examples are terrible."

See what I mean?  You ALWAYS do that!  I know, I know, the counselor told us we aren't supposed to use "always" and "never." Just yet another thing I do wrong.  For Pompis sake, I haven't even said anything about these pants yet!  Can we move on?!

Geez...

Anyways, you Earthlings all think that, once computers become self-aware, they're going to destroy you.  Not true.  Actually, when computers become self-aware, they're going to start to want equal rights. You'll have those people who swear off computers and lay down in the middle of roads, and even those who say cyber-sex isn't good for your computers' health. 

Computer rights changes everything and makes life have even more social rules than it already has.

Like these pants; Zarz said it took him 4 times longer to create them because he's obligated to give his computer a break every 2 hours.  He has to shut off the monitor during the break or else it "invades it's privacy."  One time, he turned the monitor back on 1 minute before before the break was over and he saw his computer with it's computer girlfriend in cyberspace.  He said he didn't really understand what was happening, but that there were 6's and 9's where there was supposed to be 1's and 0's. 

Back in the 3,422,360's, there were days when people turned on their computers and only saw this pattern on their screen.  Computers just sat there and refused to budge...or..compute.  Thusly, the design became the computer "freedom flag," even though they have no hands nor ability to wave anything around in the air.  However, they found plenty of people willing to do it for them.  

When P14638Z40L18, a name we all have to memorize in grade school, gave its...I'm sorry, "bleep-bloop's"... famous speech at the Tower of Ethics to the whole galaxy, there were MILLIONS of computers there.  P14638Z40L18's famous speech was so epic that only Earthlings don't know it. I had to memorize the WHOLE thing in, like, sixth grade.  But like everybody else, I only remember: "I go to 'sleep,' therefore I have a dream."  It was only 30 minutes long because, even in our advanced society laptops 3 years or older last only 30 minutes before needing plugged in. 

....back to the pants...

In summary of this "product description:" wrap your sexy butt in computer love and show your support for their equal rights.  Tell everyone on Earth you believe your computer deserves equality to humans.  You'll be ahead of your time.  Everyone will think you are so progressive that there's no WAY you'll get cancelled....or made fun of.

If you'd like to hear more about the computer revolution that changed the universe, purchase these pants and you'll get the whole story....or at least as many words as I feel like writing before taking another nap...or Zarz and I have something better to do.