Tobias Fünke
Tobias Onyango Fünke (David Cross) is the husband of Lindsay, father of Maeby Fünke, and uncle of George Michael Bluth. He was the chief resident of psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital until he lost his license for giving CPR to a man who was not actually having a heart attack. At one point, he was licensed as both an analyst and a therapist, supposedly making him the first licensed "analrapist" (/əˈnælrəpɨst/ ə-nal-rə-pist), which he later changes to "theralyst". Tobias is very fond of awkwardly rolling or somersaulting into and out of certain situations mainly to show his supposedly cat-like dexterity and balance, though this often backfires.
At the beginning of the series, Tobias decides that his destiny is to become an actor, and he pursues this career throughout the series with very little success. Highlights of his "career" include: being turned down for the role of "Dr. House"; landing the part of "frightened inmate number two" in a prison film, only to get fired for not being able to do the shower scene due to his never-nude condition (see below); portraying George Sr. in the poorly narrated series, Scandalmakers; and attempting to join the Blue Man Group as a standby understudy and, as a consequence, spending part of the second season covered in blue make-up. In a move inspired by the film Mrs. Doubtfire, Tobias masquerades as a British housekeeper/nanny named "Mrs. Featherbottom" in an attempt to spend time with his wife and daughter after Lindsay kicks him out of the model house. While the disguise fools no one, the family humors him since this gets the housework done.
Tobias suffers from "never-nude" syndrome (which, as the narrator states, is "exactly what it sounds like") and wears denim cut-off shorts under his underwear (and underneath that, a tube sock) at all times in order to avoid anyone (including himself and his wife) seeing his genitalia. The condition is similar to severe gymnophobia, although it is portrayed humorously. In the episode "In God We Trust", he attempts to reach out to his nephew George Michael during his tenure in the "Adam" muscle-suit for the "Living Classics Pageant" mistakenly assuming they have the same phobia (in reality, George Michael is trying to impress his cousin, Maeby). He conquers this for a time in the middle of Season 1, but after a close-up picture of his genitalia is shown on the evening news (where it has been mistaken for a photo showing evidence of WMDs in Iraq), he is driven back to the cut-offs.
Although he is heterosexual,[11] he has said many things that make people question his sexuality. The hints come in the form of subtle innuendos and sexual double-entendres, to which he seems completely oblivious. In season 2, Michael advises him to record what he says for a day, after which Tobias acknowledges that he is a "blowhard" (in "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"). Lindsay, who married Tobias to spite her parents, is convinced that her husband is gay. His self-help book, The Man Inside Me, is a success, though only in the gay community, due to the fact that he replaced all gender-related pronouns with only male pronouns, to avoid confusion. He has experienced sexual difficulties with his wife. This leads to their joint decision to try an "open" marriage, even though Tobias himself acknowledges that this path never works. Tobias doesn't really follow through with the "open relationship", and often stalks his wife covered in Blue Man Group blue paint, following her around on her attempted dates hiding in areas that are blue in color in order to remain unseen. Although he continually takes very expensive acting lessons from Carl Weathers, he mainly gets tips on frugality from Mr. Weathers. Lindsay continually pokes fun at Tobias' desperation to become an actor, and they split up and reconcile many times over the course of the series.
As of season 4, Tobias is also a registered sex offender in Orange County, California after inadvertently appearing on "To Entrap a Local Predator," a pedophile sting operation hosted by John Beard, similar to Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator." Eager to see his daughter and remove his rock monster costume, Tobias enters the house and proclaims, "Is there a little girl here all by herself?" and equally incriminating, "Daddy needs to get his rocks off." Tobias drives a Volkswagen Cabriolet with a vanity plate intended to say "A New Start!" Which, of course, Tobias abbreviated, "ANUSTART," which becomes a recurring nickname in season four. During this season, he falls in love with the hardcore drug addict and recovering actor DeBrie Bardeaux (Maria Bamford).
Tobias is played by David Cross