Publisher Description

Booksmart meets The Perks of Being a Wallflower in this novel of overachieving, existential crises, growing up, and coming out, from the author of Girl Crushed and Never Have I Ever.

Mary is having an existential crisis. She's a good student, she never gets in trouble, and she is searching for the meaning of life. She always thought she'd find it in a perfect score on the SATs. But by junior year, Mary isn't so sure anymore.

The first time, it's an accident. She forgets to do a history assignment. She even crosses "history essay" off in her pristine planner. And then: Nothing happens. She doesn't burst into flames, the world doesn't end, the teacher doesn't even pull her aside after class.

So she asks herself: Why am I trying so hard? What if I stop?

With her signature wit and heaps of dark humor, Katie Heaney delivers a stunning YA novel the sprints full-force into the big questions our teen years beg--and adeptly unravels their web.

Author Biography

Katie Heaney is the author of the memoirs Never Have I Ever and Would You Rather?, and the novels Dear Emma and Public Relations. She is a senior health writer at the Cut, and you can find her on Twitter at @KTHeaney.

Review

"Focusing on the subtle metamorphosis of one funny, high-achieving teen who decides she'd rather know herself than please others, this book embraces coming of age and coming out with humor, candor, and grace. A must for all collections." —School Library Journal, starred

Review Quote

"Focusing on the subtle metamorphosis of one funny, high-achieving teen who decides she'd rather know herself than please others, this book embraces coming of age and coming out with humor, candor, and grace. A must for all collections." -- School Library Journal , starred

Excerpt from Book

The first time was a mistake. I don''t like to admit that, because I think this whole thing would be cooler if I''d meant to do it from the beginning for some good reason, or even a reason. But the truth is that one day, after ten years without incident, I just forgot. There wasn''t anything unusual going on that week. I worked my usual shift at La Baguette, got home, did what was left of my homework, watched a little TV, and went to sleep. The next morning I got up, ate the same breakfast, made the same peanut butter and jelly sandwich and put the same chips and carrots in little plastic bags, and drove my brother, Peter, and me the same way to school. I walked into first period three minutes before the bell, completely prepared for another normal day. Then class started, and the teacher asked us to hand in our homework . . . and my stomach fell into my feet. My face burned. I felt faint and dizzy and a little like I might throw up. Because I had not done my AP U.S. history homework. Somehow, in the list of things I had to do the night before, this one had gotten lost. As everyone around me dug through their bags for their short essays on Manifest Destiny, I flipped through my planner and scanned yesterday''s to-

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