Fat & Funny

by Michael Supe Granda

Description "Not every old man turns into Walter Matthau or Jack Lemmon. Grumpy is not an option, here", cites the author. "Many old men enjoy being funny, old guys, who like to laugh a lot and jolly about". If any of this pertains to you, you've come to the right place. Read on. There are only two requirements to being a professional Santa Claus: 1) be fat and 2) be funny. If you can check these two boxes - and you're an old, chunky guy with a white beard - it's possible to make a little extra cash for your holidays. You will also have a whole lot of fun. If any of this rings true with you, read on. This gig is quite seasonal. On Dec. 26, it's over. Then, you go on an eleven-month vacation, until next Thanksgiving. You will read about large, drunken, corporate bashes in fancy restaurants. You'll read about small, intimate family gatherings around the fireplace. Both are wonderfully festive, in their own ways. You will read about impromptu encounters in the frozen food section of the grocery store, as well as the parking lot of the post office. You will read about the 'ups' (cheerful children, wanting new bikes) and the 'downs' (saddened children, wanting their parents to stop fighting). You will read about sparkling kids. You'll read about obnoxious adults. For the past decade, Supe has portrayed Santa, treating it as a legitimate, lucrative gig. Here, he shares many of the nice (as well as, not so nice) things he's seen with his mirror-image view through Kringle's eyeglasses. Many times, he sees you before you see him. But, if 'you' want to try your hand at being 'him' - and you want to take it seriously - it's a cool and rewarding side job. Read on, prancer. Read on, comet. Read on, reader.