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MAY 13TH 1968 - FRANCIS VINCENT ZAPPA - { THE GUY ON THE FRONT OF THE ALBUM COVER WITH THE BIG NOSE } - CONDUCTS THE ABNUCEALS EMUUKHA ELECTRIC SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA & CHORUS WITH MAYBE EVEN SOME OF THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION - LUMPY GRAVY - A CURIOUSLY INCONSISTENT PIECE WHICH STARTED OUT TO BE A BALLET, BUT PROBABLY DIDN'T MAKE IT - THIS IS THE RARE U.S.A. MONO YELLOW LABEL PROMO LP. THE ALBUM COVER IS ALSO THE RARE MONO PRINTING, AS SHOWN BY THE CATALOG NUMBER V-8741 { PLACE PROTRUDING NASAL APPENDAGE IN FRONT OF PHOTO #5 } BESIDES IT NOT HAVING "STEREO" PRINTED ANYWHERE ON IT { V6-8741 IS THE STEREO CATALOG NUMBER } - SO BESIDES THE FACT THAT THIS ALBUM WAS RELEASED 48 YEARS AGO, WHY IS THIS LP SO RARE, YOU MIGHT BE SCRATCHING YOUR OVERSIZED RONDO HATTON TYPE BEMIS HEAD WHILE MUTTERING TO YOURSELF? WELL LARRY, IT'S BECAUSE THIS ALBUM WAS ONLY RELEASED IN THE U.S.A. IN MONO AS A PROMO, THERE WERE NO STOCK MONO PRESSINGS MADE IN THE USA. SO WHY THEN IS MONO SO SPECIAL? BECAUSE UNLIKE THE TIME THAT YOU WERE SLOBBERING DRUNK AND FELL INTO ONE OF YOUR SPEAKER CABINETS SMASHING IT TO PIECES, FORCING YOU TO LISTEN TO YOUR MITCH MILLER RECORDS THRU ONE SPEAKER FOR A WHILE, THE MONO MIX IS DIFFERENT THAN THE STEREO VERSION. IN FACT THERE ARE SOME DINOSAUR GEEZERS WHO CLAIM IT ALLOWS THE LISTENER TO HEAR STUFF THAT HAD BEEN OTHERWISE BURIED IN THE STEREO MIX. IT'S ESPECIALLY TRUE WITH MUSIC / AUDIO THAT HAD BEEN LAYERED TOGETHER SUCH AS FRANK DID ON THIS ALBUM. MANY GEEZERS THINK THAT THE MONO VERSION OF THIS LP IS THE BEST. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BETTER, BUT IT'S EASIER TO HEAR WHAT HAD BEEN GWINE ON IT THAT'S FOR SURE - BUT IF YOU'RE A GEEZER WHO, NO MATTER IF THE RECORD IS RECORDED IN MONO OR STEREO SIMPLY CAN'T HEAR. THIS ALBUM INCLUDES A THREE PAGE TRANSCRIPTION OF THE LYRICS / CONVERSATIONS ON THIS ALBUM THAT WEREN'T ORIGINALLY AVAILABLE WHEN THEY WERE UNLEASHED ON THE WORLD - VERVE RECORDS DISC JOCKEY YELLOW LABEL PROMO - V-8741 - CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS EVEN IF YOU AREN'T INTERESTED IN BUYING IT, SO I DON'T GET DEPRESSED KNOWING THAT I WASTED ALL OF THAT TIME TAKING EM', AND WIND UP HAVING TO GO TO A THERAPIST, WHO JUST MIGHT TELL ME THAT I NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MY FEMININE SIDE OR SOMETHIN'?- OK LARRY?

SIDE 1 POOTS FORTH: LUMPY GRAVY PART I.

SIDE 2 OOZES OUT: LUMPY GRAVY PART II.

HEAVY CARDBOARD ALBUM COVER HAS SOME RING, EDGE AND JUST GENERAL WEAR. DON'T SEE ANY SEAMS THAT ARE COMPLETELY SPLIT THRU THOUGH. NO TAPE. RADIO STATION CALL LETTERS WRITTEN ON THE FRONT { NOT TOO EASY TO SEE } AND EASY TO SEE INSIDE OF THE GATEFOLD COVER. NATURALLY DURING IT'S STAY HERE IN MARYLAND IT MIGHTA' CONTRACTED CRABS. BUT DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE A PLASTIC OUTER SLEEVE WILL BE PROVIDED FOR YOUR PROTECTION.

AS FAR AS THE RECORD, IT SOUNDS GREAT PLAYING VIRTUALLY THE SAME WAY IT DID IN 1968. OUT OF THE 3 OR 4 MONO PRESSINGS OF THIS RECORD I'VE HAD { YOU MIGHT THINK THAT'S A LOT, BUT I'VE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE ALMOST THE DAYS OF THE PYRAMIDS }, THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST I'VE EVER HEARD. VISUALLY I'M TALKING ABOUT A FEW LIGHT SCUFFS, AND I'M TALKING FEW, ACTUALLY I ONLY SEE 2 ON SIDE 1 AND MAYBE 3 ON SIDE 2, MAYBE THERE'S MORE LURKING SOMEWHERE IF YOU PUT IT UNDER A HIGH POWERED MICROSCOPE. BUT FOR A 50 YEAR OLD MONO PROMO PRESSING THAT'S REALLY GOOD.

I PLAYED BOTH SIDES OF THE RECORD FROM BEGINNING TO END ON MY DENON DP-1200 TURNTABLE WITH A DENON MOVING COIL CARTRIDGE GOING THRU A HEAD AMP BEFORE THE PRE-AMP AND THEY BOTH SOUND NICE, A LITTLE SURFACE NOISE S MIGHT BE EXPECTED WITH A 48 YEAR OLD MONO PRESSING. BUT I'LL TELL YA', IF THERE WASN'T ANY SURFACE NOISE IT'D BE THE TWILIGHT ZONE OR SOMETHING, SPECIALLY THIS ALBUM, WITH ALL OF QUIET DIALOG SECTIONS. NO CLICKS. NO SKIPS. THE RECORD DOESN'T STICK IN ONE PLACE EITHER. VISUALLY WHEN I MOVED BOTH SIDES AROUND UNDER A 100 WATT LIGHT BULB, SOME LIGHT SCUFFS, NOTHING DEEP GROOVE AT ALL. THE WORST PART OF ALL IS THAT THERE'S RADIO STATION CALL LETTERS WRITTEN ON EACH LABEL. BUT HEY, THEY DON'T AFFECT PLAY, SO IF YEZ WANNA HEAR WHAT THIS ALBUM REALLY SOUNDS LIKE IN MONO, THIS RECORD IS WORTH GETTING. THE RECORD COMES IN A HIGH QUALITY COLLECTOR'S TYPE OF INNER SLEEVE AND DUE TO THE FACT THAT WEEZE TIGHT, I'M GONNA GIVE YEZ A PLASTIC OUTER SLEEVE ABSOLUTELY FREE.

FREE MEDIA MAIL SHIPPING IN THE U.S.A.

HERE'S THE DEAL ABOUT INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING: I DON'T USE THE GLOBAL SHIPPING PROGRAM AND FILL OUT THE CUSTOMS FORM MYSELF. SO THAT JUST MIGHT MEAN THAT THE GOVERNMENT, QUEEN, KING, DICTATOR / TYRANT IN YOUR COUNTRY MIGHT NOT TRY TO COLLECT SOME OUTRAGEOUS IMPORT TAX, WITH FAILURE TO PAY IN SOME CASES I'VE HEARD RESULTING IN A BUNCH OF GUYS WEARING TRENCH COATS AND SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT ARRIVING AT YOUR HOUSE 'ROUND MIDNITE, TO TAKE YOU AWAY SCREAMING FOR A RIDE ON THE IRON SAUSAGE. OK LARRY?

$24.00 FOR FIRST CLASS INTERNATIONAL AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO ANY LOCATION WHERE I'M STILL WILLING TO SEND STUFF. READ THE EXCEPTIONS IN THE SHIPPING SECTION OF THE LISTINGS.

ABSOLUTELY NO MORE SALES NO TO FRANCE, RUSSIA, ITALY, SWINELAND, MOLDAVIA, THE UNITED FEDERATION OF CHISELERS { U.F.O.C. }, SLOBVARIA, THE RIPOFF REPUBLIC OR THE PILFER ISLANDS.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART { DON VAN VLIET R.I.P. 2010 } AND HIS MAGIC BAND, STEVE VAI { LIKED SPANKING }, TIM BUCKLEY { CROAKED }, LARRY "WILD MAN" FISCHER { CROAKED TOO I HEARD }, ALICE COOPER { LOOKS LIKE HE CROAKED, BUT HASN'T YET } PLUS I'VE ADDED MANY OTHER COOL PSYCHEDELIC / HARD ROCK BANDS SUCH AS CAPTAIN BEYOND, BLUE CHEER WITH THE LEGENDARY DICKIE PETERSON, ROOT BOY SLIM AND THE SEX CHANGE BAND, MOUNTAIN WITH THE PORTLY LESLIE WEST { YES, HE WAS PORTLY THEN BUT NOT NOW } AND THE EXTREMELY COOL FELIX PAPPALARDI, KING CRIMSON, JIMI HENDRIX, JETHRO TULL AND OTHERS IN MY E-BAY STORE; SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY WHERE THE MUFFINS ARE ALWAYS FRESH AND JUST MIGHT BE PERSUADED INTO REMOVING THEIR ROSETTAS FOR A GEEZER SUCH AS YOURSELF. THE ADMISSION REMAINS ABSOLUTELY FREE. { FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY }. SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?