Publisher Description

Becoming a widow is one of the most traumatic life events that a woman can experience. Yet, as this remarkable new collection reveals, each woman responds to that trauma differently. Here, forty-three widows tell their stories, in their own words.

Some were widowed young, while others were married for decades. Some cared for their late partners through long terminal illnesses, while others lost their partners suddenly. Some had male partners, while others had female partners. Yet each of these women faced the same basic dilemma: how to go on living when a part of you is gone.

Widows' Words is arranged chronologically, starting with stories of women preparing for their partners' deaths, followed by the experiences of recent widows still reeling from their fresh loss, and culminating in the accounts of women who lost their partners many years ago but still experience waves of grief. Their accounts deal honestly with feelings of pain, sorrow, and despair, and yet there are also powerful expressions of strength, hope, and even joy. Whether you are a widow yourself or have simply experienced loss, you will be sure to find something moving and profound in these diverse tales of mourning, remembrance, and resilience.

Author Biography

Nan Bauer-Maglin worked at City University of New York for almost forty years as a professor and administrator. She now volunteers for Girls Write Now and The Whitney Museum. She is the editor or coeditor of many books, including Cut Loose: (Mostly) Older Women Talk about the End of (Mostly) Long-term Relationships.

Table of Contents

Contents
Introduction     
Prologue: Expectant Widows                             
Alice Goode-Elman "What We Were Afraid Of: A Memoir"                  
Kelli Dunham "The Queen Has Spoken"
Penelope Dugan "Living a Life"
Melanie K. Finney "Preparing for the Journey through Grief"Nan Bauer-Maglin "Deserted/Dumped for a Second TimRecent Widows
Nan Bauer-Maglin "A Widow's Notes: The First Six Months"
"My Other Half: Raquel Ramkhelawan interviewed by Maxine Marshall" Lauren Vanett "The Cloak"
Alice Derry "'The Most Precious Fit'— A Dialogue with C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed" Michele Neff Hernandez "On Grief"
Elisa Clarke Wadham "Wedding Rings"
Deborah E. Kaplan "The Afterlife of an Archive"
P.C. Moorehead "A Healing Garden"
Mimi Schwartz "You See, I Told You So!"
Anne Bernays "Yes, I Miss My Husband, but I'm Also Discovering the Pleasures   of Living Alone"
Long-Time Widows                      
Edie Butler "The Grief Convention"
Debby Mayer "10 Scary Things I Have Done Since My Husband Died"
Sonia Jaffe Robbins "Being Alone"
Barbara E. Marwell "Recreating My Life"
Maggie Madagame "Becoming Maggie"
Roni Sherman Ramos "Who I Am Revealed"
Doris Friedensohn "Losing the Artist, Living with His Art"
Nancy H. Womack "After the Aftermath"
Joan Michelson "Three Poems"
Unique Takes or Digging Deeper                                                             
Tracy Milcendeau with Merle Froschl, Andrea Hirshman, Molly McEneny, and Heather Slawecki "Widow-to-Widow"
Kathleen Fordyce "Parenting as a Widow"
Patricia Life "Memories of a Widow's Daughter"
Nancy Shamban "Lost Acts….."
Susanne Braham "Dealing with Double Loss: Husband and Hearing"
Alice Radosh "Synchroncity and the Secular Mind"
Parvin Hajizadeh "Mourning American-style"
Jean Y. Leung "The Rocks that Bind"
Joan Gussow "On Not Feeling Sad"
Kathryn Temple "What They Do Not Tell You"
Carrie L. West "Nine Things Resilient People Do After Losing a Spouse or Partner"
Lise Menn "Make Lemonade?!" Epilogue                                     
Christine Silverstein "The Missing Vow"
Acknowledgments
Tara Sabharwal "Artist's Statement"
Notes on Contributors

Review

"Women have learned to find fortitude in sharing the truth of their lives - not because we have the same truth, but because we find community and support there. The stories in this honest and loving book will give strength to those experiencing widowhood and wisdom to those trying to help them build the rest of their lives."
  -- Suzanne Braun Levine * author Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood *
"Widows' Words is an invaluable tool for understanding loss, mourning and grief, and an equally fascinating and compelling read with diverse and varied points of views, which proved to me that every loss is unique yet universal. Nan Bauer-Maglin has brought together many strong female voices that both define and redefine the concept of 'widow.'" -- Jonathan Santlofer * author of The Widower's Notebook: A Memoir *
"This collection is a comforting, necessary companion for the many, many women whose love outlasts their partners' lives. The stories are honest, unsentimental and as complicated and varied as marriages themselves." -- Anna Sale * host of the WNYC Studios podcast Death, Sex & Money *
"This heartfelt collection should help widows, and widowers as well, feel less alone as they move through a wrenching transition." * Publishers Weekly *
"Expertly compiled and deftly edited by Nan Bauer-Maglin, "Widows' Words: Women Write on the Experience of Grief, the First Year, the Long Haul, and Everything in Between" is a unique and very highly recommended addition to both community and academic library collections." * Midwest Book Review *
"Gentle, wry humor and strong advice that feels like it's offered in a warm blanket and a hug. It all makes Widows' Words a great reference and good comfort even though, for the newly bereaved, it can't be­gin to cover everything." * Post News Group *

Long Description

Becoming a widow is one of the most traumatic life events that a woman can experience. Yet, as this remarkable new collection reveals, each woman responds to that trauma differently. Here, forty-three widows tell their stories, in their own words. Some were widowed young, while others were married for decades. Some cared for their late partners through long terminal illnesses, while others lost their partners suddenly. Some had male partners, while others had female partners. Yet each of these women faced the same basic dilemma: how to go on living when a part of you is gone. Widows? Words is arranged chronologically, starting with stories of women preparing for their partners? deaths, followed by the experiences of recent widows still reeling from their fresh loss, and culminating in the accounts of women who lost their partners many years ago but still experience waves of grief. Their accounts deal honestly with feelings of pain, sorrow, and despair, and yet there are also powerful expressions of strength, hope, and even joy. Whether you are a widow yourself or have simply experienced loss, you will be sure to find something moving and profound in these diverse tales of mourning, remembrance, and resilience.

Review Quote

"Women have learned to find fortitude in sharing the truth of their lives - not because we have the same truth, but because we find community and support there. The stories in this honest and loving book will give strength to those experiencing widowhood and wisdom to those trying to help them build the rest of their lives."

Promotional "Headline"

Adjectives: Serious, moving, supportive, heavy, emotional, helpful, distressing, searing, tearful, hopeful It is unique because it has 41 individual, in depth voices and experiences of widows - instead of short quotes and summaries integrated into a one-voice advice narrative. While it is a university press book, it is written in an inclusive, popular style accessible to anyone, useful for widowers as well. It is a book of diverse voices: These forty-one women who contributed to this collection vary in their circumstances - they differ in age, education, family and religion, sexual orientation, residence, and, also, in when in their life they lost their partner (some in their twenties with the loss increasing at ages fifty and up). It includes three pieces by women who have lost female partners. It not only talks about the first few years of being a widow, it covers many subjects like: being a young widow and raising a child, multiple losses (hearing, friends, etc), role of religion and culture, what to do about your partner's stuff, about your wedding rings, being the child of a widow, modes of healing and resilience (like gardening or writing), on grief or not feeling grief, on being alone after a very long relationship, on finding a new partner not, etc. It looks at the experiences of women who knew their partner was going to die: pre-widows/expectant widows While mainly memoir, it includes journal excerpts, poetry, a dialogue among five widows, a dialogue with a grief book.

Description for Reader

Nan Bauer-Maglin worked at City University of New York for almost forty years as a professor and administrator. She now volunteers for Girls Write Now and The Whitney Museum. She is the editor or coeditor of many books, including Cut Loose: (Mostly) Older Women Talk about the End of (Mostly) Long-term Relationships .

Details