Never
before has an undertaking such as this occurred – our project is the first
6-inch scale G.I. Joe Classified Series Cobra H.I.S.S. vehicle for which
everyone has been clamoring. A mere $299.99 grants backers the base offering of
my technological wonder, the H.I.S.S., as well as a highly-articulated Cobra
H.I.S.S. Driver Action Figure with premium deco, detailing, and articulation
for poseability. The vehicle itself contains an astounding level of detail and
features allowing for myriad posing and display options.
M.A.R.S. Industries Feature
Innovations
Only
my technological brilliance could possibly have engineered the state-of-the-art
weapon accessories and design achievements offered by the G.I. Joe Classified
Series Cobra H.I.S.S. vehicle. It’s a modern update of the original classic
Cobra armored terror. I have instructed the HasLab Marketing team to draft a
comprehensive list of features that is readily digestible by even the most
provincial layman:
G.I. Joe Classified Series
Cobra H.I.S.S. Driver 6-Inch Scale Action Figure
What
H.I.S.S. would be complete without its Driver? This G.I. Joe Classified Series
figure included in the base offering comes ready for action, with multiple
points of articulation for high poseability along with 4 weapon accessories. It
comes individually boxed with its own artwork and number in the G.I. Joe
Classified Series sequence, and will only be available through this HasLab
offering. Anyone like me who cannot abide incompleteness in their collections
should be certain to back this campaign to ensure no glaring omissions on their
shelves.
Multiple Classified Stretch
Goal Unlocks
Beyond
this mechanical marvel I have developed, Cobra Commander has tasked me with
implementing several potential enhancements to the base offering of the G.I Joe
Classified Series H.I.S.S. vehicle. Scrap Iron and I are devising upgrades to
expand its destructive capabilities. But that is all dependent upon the whims
of our financial backers. Should enough investors fund the campaign, we shall
reveal those Classified offerings in due time.
Cobra H.I.S.S. Classified
Upgrade #1 – UNLOCKED
Two Removable Side-Mounted Missile Racks
Congratulations,
citizens of Earth! You’ve passed the firsssst step in proving your devotion to
me, Cobra Commander, by successssssfully funding our HasLab Cobra H.I.S.S.
campaign and reaching 10,000 backerssss, thus unlocking the FIRST Classified
Upgrade! The Double Diablo Cannon accessories on your standard H.I.S.S. are
indeed formidable, but Destro and Sssscrap Iron have been cooking up plans that
will enssssure the Joes demise! Your Cobra H.I.S.S. will now include two
removable, side-mounted missile racks, which telescope out from the vehicle.
Each rack holds 6 MALHISS missile accessories! The weapons accessory pack
upgrade is a perfect addition to your H.I.S.S. fleet and is sure to wreak havoc
with the forcessss of G.I. Joe. But keep those orders coming, my friendssss,
and we’ll see what else Cobra Commander can unearth for you!
Cobra H.I.S.S. Classified
Upgrade #2 - UNLOCKED
Retro H.I.S.S. Canopy and Retro Armor-Plated Tread Skirts
Well
done, faithful Cobra devotees! You just can't get enough of the Classssssfied
Series, can you?! You've unlocked the next Classified Upgrade! I know ssssome
of you "Real American Heroes" out there would prefer a retro
insssspiration to your H.I.S.S. Well, Cobra Commander hasn't forgotten about
you! Now, your backing of this project has earned you the H.I.S.S. Retro Pack! To
display your H.I.S.S. closer to the classssssic 80s vehicle design, you'll get
a swappable, single-piece canopy with a rear hinge that attaches to the
cockpit, as well as removable retro armor-plating skirts inspired by the
original 788 toy to go over your treadssss!
Cobra H.I.S.S. Classified
Upgrade #3 - UNLOCKED
Weapons Accessory Pack and H.I.S.S. Gunner Action Figure
Astonisssshing!
No matter what I offer, you jusssst want more! "Cobra Commander", you
say, "Sure, my H.I.S.S. vehicle has enough firepower to bring cowardly
G.I. Joe to their knees, but can it make them 'vanish' entirely?"
To
that I say...of COURSSSSE it can! You've unlocked the Classified Upgrade #3 -
the Weapons Accessory Pack AND the H.I.S.S. Gunner action figure.
You'll
get twin HISSINTEGRATOR CANNON accessssssories, which attach under the nose of
the cockpit, and two HISSRUPTOR ZX-5 blaster accessories that attach to either
side of the H.I.S.S. turret!
A
weapon is nothing without someone to wield it. Pose your H.I.S.S. Gunner figure
at the controls of the articulated turret or wielding their weapon
accesssssories. Adding a Gunner figure gives you a full complement of troops to
staff your H.I.S.S. vehicle, and offerssss even more ways to display your
H.I.S.S. fleet.
Cobra H.I.S.S. Classified
Upgrade #4 - UNLOCKED
6-Inch Scale Retro Cardback Cobra Commander Action Figure
This
G.I. Joe Classified HasLab campaign has been quite a roller coaster of a
journey, hasn’t it, my faithful acolytessss? Every step of the way, you’ve
surpasssssed all my expectations demolishing the initial offering and each
unlock tier in record time. Your customizable H.I.S.S. now includes the base
vehicle offering with H.I.S.S. Driver Action Figure, Early-Bird H.I.S.S.
Tactician Action Figure, removable MALHISS Missile Racks, Retro canopy and
tread covers, the newly-recruited H.I.S.S. Gunner Figure, the HISSINTEGRATOR
CANNON, and two HISSRUPTOR ZX-5 BLASTER accessories. That’s cause for a
celebration, and this year is the perfect time for a celebration in honor of
me, COBRA COMMANDER!